New Sunshine

This is anew sunshine
this is a new beginning
come lets walk together
thats the way we are...
this is a new sunshine

deep into these lights
feel the divine inside
pass through with me
for, that the way we ought to be...
this is a new sunshine

come lets fly to the sky
lets commit to life
to live with new hopes in life
for thats why we are alive
this is a new sunshine

Where Will I Go?

You are so excited, excited to go,
you'll be happy may be
but, where will i go?

I peeped from the bushes,
you got a beautiful girl,
it was your wedding
and, i wept all night....
but i smiled, smiled all while
coz, i could see how excited you are....


i followed you wherever u went,
i could see her arms around yours,
i was'nt of that standards may be,
therefore, i was always alone
when i thought i was yours
but, i still smiled all while
thinking of your future that'll be happy

i called you at times,
to just hear your voice,
but i always heard hers,
and hung up without speaking a word,
but i still smiled, though i was drunk
though i was weeping,
coz, all that i need was- for u to be happy

You were so excited, excited to go
you are very happy may be.....
and still i smile all the while,
asking to myself "Where Will I Go?"

Like Always U do

I am fighting, fighting against my life
i am trying, trying to win my life

to see you,
to hold you,
to hug you,
like always i do....
and to not let you go,
not let you go in others arms
this is the fight, fight against my life
i am trying, trying to win my life

to feel me all over you,
to see me all around you,
to smell me all over you,
like always you use to do....
and to not let you go,
not let you go in others arms
this is the fight, fight against my life
i am trying, trying to win my life


to sleep on your lap,
to be fed by you,
to be kisses always,
like always you do.....
and to not let you go,
not let you go in others arms
this is the fight, fight against my life
i am trying, trying to win my life

SIMPLY BUBBLY

Me me me, simply bubbly
and thats the way i want it to be.

singing and dancing to the tunes of birds
laughing and giggling on silly silly things
jumping and shouting when the whole world is quite
and thats the way i want it to be
me me me, simply bubbly

kisses and misses every time we are far
hugs and cuddles for what we are
memories and sorrow we share at par
and thats the way i want it to be
me me me, simply bubbly

movies and parks tat we can roam everywhere
sofas and chairs to play in the air
kitchen and bedroom and romance everywhere
and that the way i want it to be
me me me, simply bubbly

Kahan hai?

Chupke se jo nazron se bathein hoti thi
aaj chupke se vo nasar milthe bhi nahi
kaise bhikhar gayi hai ye pyar ke lamhe
aaj pyar ke nishan bhi nahi rahi...

Kisiki chahat aaj majboor hogayi
logon ke saath aise milgayi
ke jis mohabbat ko sari kaynath keh the the
aaj wohi mohabbath musibath ban gayi......

Ye majboori hai hai ya lachaari
ke duniya badi dikhe aur pyar choti
jiske liye qurbaan karthe the apna sab kuch
aaj vohi dil ho gayi hai kisi gairon ki

Haye ye teri majboori
Aur teri bewafai
kahan chod diya hai tumne
vo pyar bhari nadani..

Aye sanam ki narazgi

Aji aisi bhi kya narzgi, jiska jawab hum na de paayein
Aise rooto na piya, ki hum aapko awaz na de paayein

Bhavra hai dil, tumhari khushboo se dil bhar jaaye
joote na ithraaoo, Kabi tho aap maan bhi jaayein

Preet hamare dil ke, root gaye hain
unhe mananeke labz choot gaye hain
kabi meri awaz se unki shaam banti thi
Ab hame awaz dena bhool gaye hain

Aji aisi bhi kya narzgi, jiska jawab hum na de paayein
Aise rooto na piya, ki hum aapko awaz na de paayein

Tumhari narazgi hai istarh, ki
Hawavon me narmi nahi hai,
Sardiyon me sardi nahi hai,
Rooke Sooke sa ped hoon mein,
Is pyase ko pani nahi hai........

Aji aisi bhi kya narzgi, jiska jawab hum na de paayein
Aise rooto na piya, ki hum aapko awaz na de paayein

Bhavra hai dil, tumhari khushboo se dil bhar jaaye
joote na ithraaoo, Kabi tho aap maan bhi jaayein

Some Thoughts

1) Teri bahon mein aane ki gunjaish karte hai,
is liye teri rahonme khade hai.
Ab chahe tum aazmalo ya apnalo,
hum ankein bigoke rath guzaar rahe hain.

2) Udas man ko rahat mili,
tere aane ki jo aahat mili.
Khusboo si tum ne hawavon me bhar di hai,
in hawavon se muje
teri aane ki nazakat mili.
Tera sukriya mai ada kaise karoon,
tere pyar se muje rahat mili.

3) Diwana kar diya hai tere isharone,
iske jawab me mujhe ishara nahi aata.
Aapse judne ka muje rasta nahi pata.
Rukenge huin hi jab tak sans hai,
Kuin ki aap jaisa mehfoz muje aur koi nahi lagta.
Aap se door hone ko man nahi karta.

Kash!!!

Kash ye zindagi, ek pal aur deti,
tho hum samandar ke lehron se kehlathe,
hum tumse kitna pyar karthe hai
Kash........

Kuch is tarah!!!!

Teri awaz goonjthi hai, in leheron me is tarah
jaise tum ho mere pass, sadiyon se is tarah,
tum sama gaye ho mujme is tarah sanam,
sawan sama gaya hai is samandar me jis tarah.....


Hum tum aise juda hogaye hai, jaise chand aur sooraj ho gye hai
phir bhi saath nibhayenge hum, poorey kainath ne hoti hai jis tarah

Labzon me main keh na paaoongi, khamoshi chayi hai mujme kuch is tarah
bas tum aisi hi yaad aathe rehna, samandar me leherein athi hai jis tarah

Door ho k tumse, waise paya tho kuch nahi,
paas rehke bhi tumse khoya tha kuch nahi,
Phir bhi ye sham ankhon me ansu laya hai is tarah,
Kuch tanhai ka andhera mujme chaya hai jis tarah.

Zombie

Lived for 25 years out of which 21 years were lived up to others expectation, just like a robot which has no brains and does things as fed in the chipset. Yes, it’s about me. Then, I decide to live my life, my self, with a self consciousness.

I decide to do my studies by myself, borrow money, pay fees and get through the certificate course, completing diploma was not so tough as tough it is today to live at my very home. I rather struggle to get few more degrees, however the situations are never in favor of me. I have always tried hard to get admissions in good colleges and universities and the very next moment I am not able to join it for continuing, why? I really have no answer or I have so many reasons that they don’t really make sense, but it did when I really tried hard to study. Anyways, then what I did is the major Question for people who want to know about me.

As every other helpless individual does, joined a job, very low salary but at least I got some salary , dear friends that was the time I realized how important money could be in ones life. I started to realize why my parents dint have money for my further studies, anyways compromising with my situations I carried on, but how could I just do a receptionist job, when there is a strong feeling from within that says you are much more better than just a receptionist. Come on do something and earn more, make your living of your own choice. I struggled hard to get the English language with the grammar correct, but I did do it. After borrowing money from my cousins bro, I dint want to really do that further. I joined Call Center that fetched me a better salary, of course after many rejections I go through one fine day- I needed time to learn English you see :D. Then attend interview and then face rejections and do a lot of Google studies on English pronunciation and intonation, then a lot of modulation and stuff…..

Ok, I will tell you, and then I was looking out for better salary as the company that I was working was a direct, it was a place where processes were outsourced and we used to get lower pay than the direct employees. This was really hurting, after you know that you work hard to be the topper and still getting paid so less than what the actual employees were was too bad. I then realized that I should join a company that hires directly, slowly browsed about various other companies, eventual landed up joining HP, which became my favorite company in the process of searching, I joined it and started working as a chat support technician, in parallel I wanted to do something creative, I used to write poems and articles, but something that was in my mind since my childhood was to be in TV’s and Films, I used to think that this field is more creative and interesting, well I know my thinking is not wrong, but yes now I realized how much you need to invest in yourself to see in TV screen or Big silver screens. Knowing the fact that I have a passion and some time to invest I approached a small firm called Ifashions in Bangalore for part time modeling, did well there as well, then I understood that I have few qualities in me. I continued it this way. I walked ramps and did commercials ads for Bangalore based channel. Oh, you are wondering about what other talent that I identified in myself??? Good Question.

This incident, I was walking in forum along with my friends it was 1st of November and there was a karaoke troop that was performing there. However, this group dint had any Kannada singer in the group or in the audience, which was very embarrassing. They announced if anyone from audience could sing a Kannada song for that day as it was “Karnataka’s Constitutional formation day”, I was just watching and saw that no one approached the group. Slowly a girl walked upto me who recognized me as receptionist that I worked for a homeopathic firm, and introduced me to the karaoke group. I was happy that I am getting to know better people in life. And the boss “Subbu” asked me if I knew kannada and simply knodded my head, yes sir, I do know and he said please sing for the group. Oh God!! That was an astonishing feeling for me. I was worried if I go wrong, but he encouraged me and I boldly took the mic in my hand. I started to sing, so nervous that I started sweating, and then the group also joined me in chorus, I felt better…. What a feeling it was! Superb! Since then my sir wanted me to be a part of his group. And there I go; I also started singing every Saturday at forum. 
Isn’t it “a talent”?

Anyways, slowly the troubles that I encountered by exploring my talent was too tough to handle. I really wanted to be something, I really wanted to become popular, I really wanted to earn name and fame and money so that I could live a nice live without a partner and this cause was never encouraged at home. And I was getting depressed f this feeling, there were small personal reasons that I changed my job but very unhappy. I then joined NGO as administrator, felt good, but there was a problem too. The girl who was close to my boss before I could join couldn’t handle my boss praising me for my work, all ego shit was going on and I was trying to change myself and control my ego and self esteem, but yeah I realized that was disturbing her mentally too. I really couldn’t handle it, though I was happy working there. I realized by myself that I need to be free off all this clashes. I moved to a new city- Hyderabad.

And …. Will tell you later. Take care till you get to read new things.

Neye Log- Hindi

Ye meri Ghustaki hai ki maine hindi me bhi likhthi hoon, sach baath ye hai ki mein itni acchi hindi nahi jaanthi. Please dont mind if there is any mistake in my poem.





Hum kitne naye logon se milthe hain
sab do-char din keliye aathe hain
do-char din me chale jaathe hain
bas rehjaathi hai unki yaad
jo kuch dinno mein dhuaa ban jaathi hain
Hum jaane anjaane me patha nahi
kitne naye logon se miljaathe hain


Jitni chizein is kamre me padi hain
utne log mere dil me apna mohar chod gaye hai
har ek mausam me koi naya aajaatha hai
har mausam me vo phir yaad atha hain
hum jaane anjaane me patha nahi
kitne naye logon se miljaate hain

Ab mere jaane ka waqt aa gaya hai
par in sabki yaad mujhe tadpa rahi hai
kisiki muskuraahat uski aur khinchein,
tho kisiki bathein khamoshi me bhi gungunaarahi hai
aisi hi ye kuch chizen hain, jo hamein
aur jeene pe majboor kar rahi hain.


hum jaane anjaane me patha nahi
aise hi kitne naye logon se miljaathe hain.

Messages for you guys...

When I dont know what to do I write and when I am not prepared what to write I start with "when". Friends for long I have stopped updating my blog, just because I have no internet access so much as much I used to have before... anywys how are you all doing? this world seems so fast, I dont have to say you experience it everyday, so where have you all been all these days, no messages, comments and also reminders. Though i havent been online, I havent stopped writting poems either.I have quite some collected for you all, will update it next time... therefore, keep writting in, and messaging me. Any topic that you think I am capable of writing let me know I will surely do my best to get it upto your expectations.

A good news, :) I have started writing scripts for movies.... keep me motivated liek you all always do... Cheers !!!! Take care..

gale ki teri mai haar ban jaoon
jaoon tho jaoon main kidhar jaooon

sine me dhadaktha dil hai tu
behthe ansoon ki kasam
in ankhon ke sapne me tu

chalte kadmon ki manzil hai tu
chanak thi payal ki kasam,
in gungruvon ki jhankar me tu

tanha udthi hawaoon me tu
aahat se bhari saans ki kasam
har saans ka sarkar hai tu,

andhere me dikhta hraag hai tu
us utthe sooraj ki kasam
har subhah ki roshni lata hai tu

ye hont jise chahe, vo pyala hai tu
in rooke hoton ki kasam,
inhe choomne ki mohtaj hai tu....

gale ki teri mai haar ban jaoon
jaoon tho jaoon main kidhar jaooon

I dont know if everyone thinks like me or not, but a gist of it i realised in makrandji's words.

GUESS------ :)

A fresh day in a new city--- guess.........
guessssss....... guess........








MUMBAI- Meri Jaan






Just stepped in--- after 2 visits... with all confidence that i can survive, like every other person who is helpless, homeless, but not hopeless.... in this city. hehe.



Every day we have something new in our live, which eventually as humans we forget, we jsut live routine life. We forget that god gifts us everyday a new day, new morning, new sunshine and we are getting used to gifts so much so that it has become common. Today i feel god just not gifts a day, he gifts new life everyday. He gifts new energy, new thoughts, his gift is always unique, always uncomparable, amazing and desirable.



Today to begin this day in this city is gods gift, he has granted this day to start my new life, i wanna try this day and look forward to acchive many new things from here, this city, which is known for making fortunes, knows for changing lifes, life styles... let me try this as well... amonst all the trials this is the most risky trial... but very interesting and passionate ones.





All The Best- SHAKS ////// Oops- Mahi :)

Resignation

Dear Sir/Madam

I hereby confirm my resignation from Ananda Spa Institute. It is a very difficult decision for me to make, yet too important. I have taken this serious step in my career in order to complete my course and earn a degree and go a level ahead in my field of interest. I hope you understand the importance of it from my point of view. I know this is not a very good time to take this odd step, therefore, I promise to adhere as a staff of ASI till the month end. Formally I shall be out from 11th February 2009, however I will still make time to come in and go out till the end of this month and also in future as and when the institute needs me.

Keeping in mind that Administration is a “Key Role”, that I’ve always been performing, and that I enjoyed here like as if this was my home/ my family, I promise to continue my service to ASI as and when required and to maintain the respect and feeling towards the staff and the institute forever. I have learnt a lot from here and if life gives me another chance to work with you all I’d be the most happiest person on this earth to work with ASI. During this phase of learning in my life, I must have hurt any of your feelings, or may be embarrassed you for slightest of my mistakes, I apologies from my heart and soul.

I think I have made my place quite a bit messed with lots of responsibilities, which eventually is going to hamper/disturb your normal office schedule for some time. And I am really sorry about it. As a matter of fact I feel guilty about this immediate action as well, however this is just a short time period I have got to fit myself in a new city,And I am sure I will try to fit-in some alternative solution till we find another admin for our office.

Once again, thank you for supporting me all these days and helping me in doing my duties just right. Thank you one and all for making me feel so responsible and important all these days. Thank you for encouraging me in my stupid initiatives and interests. Thank you Anjona (Mom), Col. S.S. Minhas, Mrs Josephine Wackett, Jannita Mossel (who ofcourse is not with ASI now, but I miss her too), Mr. Madan Salgaunkar – for helping me learn new things in a different way, in a new environment and many people who have been of great help throughout my walks in ASI/Ista. Thank you ASI, for everything.



Thanks and Regards,


Shakila R Makandar
Admin- ASI- Hyd
Ph: 040- 40348888
M: + 91 9010669496
Email: admin@anandaspainstitute.com

Read it-- know me

I am full of mysteries and questions, I believe in questioning and solving... It’s a nice feeling. I feel I am very unique; my life style very unusual, my love is very unpredictable. I am confused, baffled and always in confession for all the mistakes I do because of my behaviour, No! That doesn’t mean I am bad in behaviour, that means I am stupid :) hahaha.

For me life means, full of colours, happiness, smiles, brightness, wide sky, however, I never got all of them like most of them o this earth. For me all I saw in life was silly fights landing up with lots of trouble, major fights between elderly in the family. Children affected by it, maybe I was one that y I am like this???

Humm, so it was tough for me to be a decision maker, to be a very good child, to be very good at studies, to not find my way like every other class mates of mine. However, now life is showing me its true colours. I am able to think alone, read every step of life, analyze my mistakes and avoid them before touching me. I feel I am grown up in 22, I am enjoying like a college going girl now, when I am already working seriously like any other graduate. I feel I missed a lot in life and now I have become bold to face everything, just like as if a young boy is fighting even after he is bleeding deadly in a war. Like as if I am getting some kind of power from almighty, some spiritual, some positive from nature, some really good vibes from people around me. I feel I am growing tall in terms of career and life.

I am become very courageous, more outgoing, very direct to people while I talk. I have become open to every culture and different people. Learning different languages, going out late nights without fear and many such activities are just not something that I used to do earlier. To tease anyone and everyone on road, like as if they know me for long, hehehe.... I scare people on roads, I am teasing girls for their stupid dressing- no I wasn’t like this before, I am enjoying, I am away from home, probably because I missed all this while I was with them. But I miss my family too. When I start missing it more than anything I realize that I am meant to be alone- away from them, and then start my fun loving life again :)

Such a contradictory life I have seen, something that I hated till 22yrs, now I started loving it. Yes, to be born has its purpose, ahs its meaning, I am reading, I am living.

If this is life, I want to live it, if this is how human enjoy I love being born human again, I thank god for this life, Thank you for the beautiful creation, thank you for everything that you did so that I see this beautiful day. Thank you for the entire lesson that you taught me in life, so practical that I understand the signs of happiness and sadness sooner than anyone else. Thank you for coming into my life in form of my parents, I love and I enjoy being with you.

Signing off----- Shaks

Was unable to undo the changes made to my previous blog therefore created a new account. Hope you will like this also, thank you friends for supporting me constantly in my writting :)