19 Oct 2015

It swells my heart

It swells my heart to wait to hear from you
All that you said last, lasts longer in my ears,
It swells to know that- those were our last words
Words that meant nothing less in love...

It swells my eyes to long to see you,
All that we saw last, lasts longer in my sight,
It swells to know that, that was our last sight,
Sight that meant nothing good but 'bye' my love

Oh!! come my love, my breath doesn't seem to last,
Let me hold your hands and look into those deep eyes,
Hear my love, I lost all words to say;
and all that I can, is to simply see you once..

It swells my heart to have smelt you that way,
All that I remember lasts longer in my heart,
It swells to know that- it was our last moment,
Moment that meant there's no looking back my love...

For once let me heart swell, once again,
let me feel you here in my arms,
lost in your eyes, soaked in your smell
midst of no where, my heart still swells...
 

22 Sept 2015

September!!!

I dint know what I was waiting for,
I dint know I longed for something,
I dint know what was the intent,
All I know is I was empty...

Empty like a flower without fragrance
Like the light without brightness
Like the sun without brilliance,
Like nothingness in something...

Something that had life, but lifeless
something that lived without purpose
Something to smile for, without meaning,
Like something to dwell upon, without feelings

I dint know you existed, to breadth with me
You existed to see the world through me,
You existed to Live the life inside me,
You existed somewhere only to come back to me...

Back with the touch, the touch of tenderness,
The tender love that mean the world,
The world that's cared to Live,
The life that I longed for ever...

For ever, should we live gazing into each others eyes
Eyes that speak so much for just a smile,
Smile that's intense to die for, and
death that can never part us for ever...

First Draft: 22nd Sep 2015

17 Sept 2015

Feeling- In Love



Did I see the sky or was it the peace in your eye?
Did the sun shine on me or the brightness when you smile?
It was something so natural, something divine..
If it was not you, then maybe something in you that’s mine...

Did I touch a flower or was it your lips?
Did I hear a song or was it you talking?
It was something that kept happening all the time
If it was not you, then maybe something in you that’s mine...

Did the roses spread the fragrance or was I breathing you?
Did the drums beat so rhythmic or was it my heart?
It was something so soothing, or spirit from thine
If it wasn’t, then maybe something in you that’s mine...

It was the magic, it was the music
It was indeed very romantic
It was the feeling flowing so free
Or maybe it’s “my love” to thee...

19 Apr 2015

Sarah!!! Needs Advice



By time she grew up to be a lady recognized by her neighbors as “dynamic and dashing”, but that’s what she projected to the world because she couldn’t let her image fall by showing her true status.
Status- did I mention? Yes. It meant the money, the value of an individual, capability to socialize, to be at par with other surrounding you. One could always fake the materialistic thing but how could one fake the reflection on the face. Sarah was just not aware that his body language and her face spoke most of the things to the world outside. She went on with the fast paced world thinking it was just about few hours and then everything is okay. Her room, was her only place that knew so much about her situation. Her wardrobe screamed at her asking to be updated, so did her outdated cosmetics, her footwear and her handbag too. But she could always manage questions regarding these things. What was difficult for Sarah was to answer questions like, How’s work? So what about your personal life? I don’t see you at the parlor these days? Etc
No, it wasn’t that she stopped liking to work, or go to parlor or gym to keep herself pampered, neither was it about heartbroken or a bad affair. It was clearly about her bad financial situation. While Sarah being a self-made woman who has traveled 30 yrs of her life to be an entrepreneur, its just now that she felt that she isn’t a successful entrepreneur yet. Though she’s been doing good business for a young woman entrepreneur, she isn’t prepared for the ups and downs of her entrepreneur journey and this was the first time and a hard hit for Sarah to digest. She feels to breakdown financially in business is worse that can happen in one’s life. Worse than a break-up with boyfriend. A simple comparison,
1.       A boyfriend cares for you- here you care for the business
2.       A boyfriend can understand- here you understand the business
3.       A boyfriend is a matter that can be discussed- here you can’t discuss your business matters with friends.
4.       A boyfriend can patch up in a day or two- a business ones its down needs the same effort to re-start again
5.       A boyfriend can be screamed at when frustrated- business just silently kills you within, like a tumor
Funny though, but her feeling where just as right as she thought it is. She was left with no options to bring in money but just to work HARD & hard. But having tried that for so many months has left her with little hopes that can save her in near future. Just like anyone thinks, she thought her next steps would be to immediately check with friends. She had in her past her past helped a few friends in various ways. To some great gifts, to a few money hard cash in hand for immediate needs, a few more transfer of funds, a few friends were lucky to get Gold jewelry, some got cloths etc etc., none of them have forgotten her, having said that none have even stayed connected with her. For them she was just very different and also difficult to be like. So they always enjoyed her company and treated her as a “friend- in the form of giver”. Sarah knew this very well, and she never helped people with any expectations. She would, even if she did, least expect to spend a good time with them whenever she found time to meet next. Anyway, this time has arrived, when even if she dint like, she ends up thinking about friends whom she could seek help from. Couple or more names pass her mind, but hesitant to ask she left it go. Suddenly she realized few places where she had left her valuables for safe keeping as she was on intermittent stay. She connects with them.
Friend A: Hey hi. Hows you?
Sarah: Oh well, I am fine. Glad to have connected with you. I felt I lost your contact details. Good you haven’t changed any of them.
A: Oh no. Have been living live just the way I used to when you were here. So, tell me when are you coming next?
Sarah: (Skeptically- was I a good friend or is there any reason that I am so welcomed?) Well, very soon indeed. Look I was desperately trying to reach you to find out if you still have my belongings with you? Remember we were to keep them in your personal bank locker?
A: Oh yes! I very well remember we kept a few things in my bank locker. What would you need?
Sarah: that’s great! I was looking at collecting them back. But looks like a tough time, I may not be able to make it to your place. Will it be possible for you to send them to me, may be courier?
A: Yes I could, definitely do them. But are you sure you wish to do it now? Is everything okay?
Sarah: huh! Actually not okay. Been drowning with some financial stuff. Hence I request you to kindly send those documents, may be something will come handy to pull-off a few more months.
A: Oh.. sorry to hear that. Let me do my best to be of help to you. Why don’t you give me your account number, shall send in a few thousands, if that may help.
Sarah: How kind of you… Thanks a ton. You think whatever is possible kindly help me with.
A: Cool. Will revert soon. Stay calm and don’t haste.
Sarah: Alrighty. Thank you once again, you are my angel.
Friend B: Hi Sarah… Whats up?
Sarah: Hey hi. All well. Whats up with you?
B: Great … tell me more whats happening?
Sarah: nothing just work man. Good time to talk?
B: Ofcourse it is, anytime you wanna talk is a good time… hahaha
Sarah: (laughs) cool. That’s funny ah! Well listen, wanted to check with you about the gold I had left at your home for safe keeping. Remember?
B: Yes. I remember well. Why what happened?
Sarah: Nothing. Was just looking forward to collect it. Looks like I might not be dropping by any sooner and just wanted to get things back in order.
B: Oh.. Good. But, I guess….
Sarah: what? Forgot the place?
B: Nope. I think during my wedding I’ve misplaced it or may be my wife. I haven’t seen it in the recent past. Was it urgent?
Sarah: Well, actually it was a bit urgent. But I think I can wait for couple of days. Why don’t you check with your family and revert?
B: I will do that. But I am certain it isn’t here somewhere. But… that’s not right on my part too. Let me check and revert.
Sarah: Cool Yo! Call me whenever you find. Will wait.
B: Yes I will. Sorry about it.
Sarah: OH no, why sorry. You just have to look for it. Its ok. I trust you…. Chill
B: Thanks. Will come back on this.
Months passed and the call never comes. Upon her repeated calls, he would be bothered, so… no more calls.
Sarah felt bad for once and kept thinking if she really trusted her friends or were they just friends for namesake. It reminded her of a story her father narrated when she was a kid. Its about a man entrusted a metal box filled with valuables and covered with fruits over it- to his dearest friend. A friend he trusted the most. Left it there for about a week and comes back later to find nothing there. When questioned his friends very ignorantly and innocently says- “I never touched a think in this box”. What happened to it wasn’t told, but the moral was about true friendship. Sarah still believed in it, while the world around her had changed so much.
Sarah calls me one day. We sit at a near-by Café coffee day- the best of places to get-together without worrying about the “Nice- Destination” to meet. Any location, just a CCD (Café Coffee Day- in short). I sat and heard her story till she sighed and sipped her Cappuccino to the last bit. I asked her what she felt and this is what she said:
1.       The world has changed, I don’t know if it’s for good or bad. But certainly, not like what my father taught it would be when I grew up. I will learn to be like it is.
2.       Business doesn’t mean doing well for society or set of people. Business means doing very good for yourself.
3.       Trust, loyalty, honesty blah blah blah… My father said was important, however people don’t care who is what when they get to playing their roles in this world.
4.       We were taught live and let others live. But out in this world, everyone lives for themselves.
Well so much more is different out there, I don’t know if I belong to this place? She frowned!!!
Though it isn’t too interesting to have heard all this. But this thought provoking story, lead me write these lines- so that I can share it with you to understand, if she is right in her thoughts? Are we missing on the fundamentals these days? Are we living in a “Man-eat-man” world in literal terms? What’s that one think we are all looking for? Isn’t it to be human and live humanly?
Share your thoughts on this, so that it can be a piece of advice to Sarah and also thoughts we all could share with each other to realize on what’s missing. Let’s not give space for our children to feel/think/ experience like Sarah. Let them learn the true values.